I'm not someone who generally feels very strongly on the subject of eating animals, but I do stand by one principle: if you're responsible for its death, you better have the decency to give it a quick one. I had never had to act on that before.
But today, my mom bought a live crab from the Asian supermarket for dinner. She has to work tonight, so I was making dinner for my sister and me. My mom had put it in the pressure cooker before she left, and when I went to look at it, it seemed more or less dead. I wasn't completely sure, though, and that bothered me a bit. I thought that being steamed alive would be an awful way to go. After putting on the lid and applying heat, I heard scratching from inside the cooker. So. Definitely still alive. I stopped the flames. I thought about if some kind of giant had put me
into a pressure cooker and started applying heat. So I got the crab out, put it on a cooking board, got a large knife, and cut it in half. It took about four hacks.
That was the first time I truly felt like I could understand why some people become vegetarians.
It wasn't traumatizing or anything, but it was undoubtedly unpleasant
. One of its eyes was out and staring at me. And that initial fear of hurting it by hacking too hard, but then knowing that not hacking hard enough will just make it worse, and then when it stopped moving...
I think I learned something about myself.