A lot has happened within this past week.

01. I graduated high school.
02. Turned 18.
03. Saw a hypnotist show.
04. Went to a birthday party.
05. Saw Wicked.
06. Turned into a blob at a friend's house.
07. Went to the freezing San Francisco seaside.
08. Had a fake emo session at another friend's house.
09. Stayed up all night talking to people.

These four years have been damn amazing. I miss them all already.


H I A T U S

Will be in China.

[ 06.26.2009 - 08.31.2009 ]

Take care, everyone. ♥

Hey Tiffany.

Just wanted you to know that your present was so beautiful that it made me cry.

Honest. I'm not exaggerating at all.

Thank you. This is so inadequate, but thank you.

I'm going to be graduating high school in a week, and I am still feeling nothing. There is no sense of a proper ending. It doesn't even feel like summer; it was June 10th yesterday, and it actually rained. (For all of 5 minutes, yes, granted, but it's June, and there is not supposed to be rain in California in June.) There's just been a lot of projects and a lot of wasting time in class, and I feel like I'm not prepared at all for everything to stop. It's like dying. You need time to write the will, settle affairs, box everything away neatly, cry at all the happy moments and laugh at all the embarrassing ones. Yes, that's a ridiculous comparison because LOLOLOL dying =/= graduating fricking high school, but the general idea is the same. I am not feeling any closure. I don't want the full force of the immensity of the change to hit me when I'm all the way in Kunming this summer, because no doubt the distance will only make it worse.

(Exhibit 218 in how quickly and far my levels of sentimentality can rise in a relatively short amount of time given the right circumstances.)

Holy fricking shit I'm going to be 18 in a week. I'm not so much nervous as queasy. I feel 14. OTL
___

[Edit]: Prom was last Saturday. It was lovely and very fun, and we had a sleepover afterward.

( Have two pictures. )

Yvonne showed me this t-shirt design at Threadless the other day, and I practically had a heart attack over it. It's so amazing. I have never liked any t-shirt as much as this one. Am going to buy it when it eventually goes on sale. Apparently everyone who saw it was reminded of me. My tastes are either very distinctive or very limited. >___>

( I feel like I should make this into a banner or something. )
_

Saw Star Trek two days ago. It was a fun movie, and pretty enough that I want to make icons of it. Funny thing - I didn't realize that the actor who plays Spock is the same one who plays Sylar in Heroes until the next day. >____> That, I suppose, explains the mass murderer vibes I kept on feeling in the scenes before he joined Starfleet.
_

Have now moved on to using my laptop. My computer has been disassembled. Milestone! (It's so shiny aiefj;afie the screen is so shiny and luminous and if my icons start looking worse after this it's probably because my computer screen automatically makes everything look pretty expect not really but you get the picture.)
_

Went to San Francisco on a field trip yesterday. ( Here are a few pictures. )

Also, a few late Ashland pictures ( are here. )
_

I thought about it the other day, and I realized that the only reason pandas are still alive right now is because they look so adorable even when full grown. If they didn't have their huge head-to-body ratios, soft, squishy cuddliness, slightly clumsy movements, and complete lack of threatening mannerisms, none of them would still be here. Honestly, the animals are terrible at surviving. They mainly eat only one kind of food, and it's a low-energy, high-cellulose, really slow-growing kind at that. They don't move very quickly or have very good defenses. And they suck at reproducing. In terms of evolutionary traits for survival, the only thing they did right was make themselves look so cute and huggable that the mere sight of them elicits feelings of protectiveness and love in humans.

...

... Yeah. I... don't know where that came from either. >______>

All the strange wonders that befell me:

Friday | Got asked to Senior Ball. (Huhhh? And yayyyy? And oh damn shit I need to get a dress fuck)
Sunday | Had a Lord of the Rings marathon with the extended editions of the movies. (AESIFJ;ASEFIJS;AEF LOTR OH LOVE OF MY LIFE I'D FORGOTTEN HOW MUCH I ADORED YOU. THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN AEIFJS;AIESAJF;SEFJESAF;JS;AFJS JIESAFJ;ASFIJEJS;AEFI ♥♥♥♥♥) It seemed to have converted Yvonne into wanting to read the books. Success!
Monday - Wednesday | Went to Ashland, Oregon to watch two plays for an AP English field trip. Day one involved a bus ride, being a mob, slowly becoming not a mob, giggling like mad and acting sugar high, and getting stared/laughed at by strangers. Day two involved two plays (Macbeth and The Music Man), a nature hike, and a pretty cool gift shop. Day three involved a bus ride home, Mean Girls, Batman Begins, and part of Ocean's Twelve. And then Chinese Checkers with a lot of cheating and sabotage and shrieking.

Life's been pretty good.
_

Shiny things:

一 ：welovetypography
I adore typography design, and it makes me sad that I can't do it very well at all, but looking at these makes me happy, so I guess it balances out.



( More favorites from the first 10 pages )

二 ：Book Cover Designs
I guess I just like pretty design in general. But this website really is awesome.



( More favorites )

三 ：Shadow Project
Photographer's explanation:

Do you ever wonder if your shadow is playing tricks on you behind your back? I mean, it could be, right? It's always walking behind you so you never know what's going on back there! The past couple of weeks I've been tracing Matty and I onto large rolls of black paper. I then cut them out into fun shadow people, and taped them onto the walls and sidewalks all around Brooklyn. I then waited for people to walk by and took a picture at the exact moment they matched up with their silly shadow.

( The pictures )

四 ：( Why A Man Cannot Have Wings )

1. Oh, Mother. THE THINGS I DO FOR YOU.

OTL

2. Well, I guess that finally ran its course. Thankfully, since I was beginning to feel like such a nutcase.

3. From ontd_political: Paper Magazine (I would guess it's some sort of political magazine) apparently "invited 15 of the best visual communicators to refine our country's image." (And by "our country," they mean America.)

How they explain it:

Right now America is like a company teetering on bankruptcy -- we have lost so much credibility and brand currency over the past eight years. And so we invited some of the best visual communicators we know (from ad gurus to artists) to create original advertising concepts that could redefine our country's image. Welcome to U.S.A. 2.0.

Some of them were very good. Some of them made me raise my eyebrows and think, "'15 of the best visual communicators?' Really? Really?" Some of them were just batshit crazy. (Full gallery here.)



This one is pretty cool. I like how they kept the relative size of the states accurate. It's a vertebral column, and you know how you need all your vertebrae for your spine to support you.

( Though... why a spine exactly? )

[Edit]: Because Yvonne was apparently traumatized, a WARNING: The last poster contains quite a bit of brain-scarring and holy-living-fuck-my-eyes-they-bleed, so click at your own risk. >____>

♥

So thanks to the friending meme, I'd like to welcome captainrosie, grass_angel, heron_advocate, katsumeragi, long_scarves, main_titles, mtranc3, and teialiel! (Hee, alphabetization.) I hope we can all get to know each other better, hopefully in a way that involves a lot of crack and awesome. XD

And to start off, have a meme:

Comment here with a list of 10 things that make you happy.

( My list: )

I TAG YOU. YES, YOU. ALL OF YOU. ♥

GUESS WHO'S DONE WITH AP TESTS FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE.

\:D/ \:D/ \:D/

DAMN RIGHT LIFE IS AWESOME.

/patheticness

Also, welcome halclouds and otaku_revey! ♥♥♥ Hope we get to know each other better now that my hiatus is over ahaha. >___>

To make that easier, here, meme time: Ask me any question you want about anything you want, whether it's about politics, fandom, socks, etc., etc. In return, I'll ask you a question, and we'll see how long we can keep the thread going. :Db Anyone can do this. ♥

HIATUS
Because:
1. Ahahahaha productivity what productivity?
2. SO. EFFING. SCREWED.
3. Job? Where to find?
4. This stuff can't possibly be good for my IQ.
5. OH HAI WORLD DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE.
&etc.

>___>

Easter is a strange and foreign concept to me, but it did bring some of the most awesome dioramas I have ever seen. Observe:

( And it's much better to just look at them, because I've always found eating peeps to be pretty gross. )

From the Washington Post's Peeps Show III
_

I have a very strange relationship with music. I don't understand it at all. (Talk to me about music theory, and my brain will cease to operate within five seconds of your bringing the topic up.) And yet I'm extremely picky about what I like. I can listen to a collection of 300 songs and not like more than two. I have no idea if they're technically good or bad; all I know is whether or not they sound pretty to me.

But then again, I don't listen to much music anyway.
_

Virginia Woolf's writing is so perfect I don't even know how it's possible.

Awesome stuff:

. Am now officially on track to becoming part of UChicago's class of 2013. ♥♥♥
. Am also now in possession of a driver's license.


Not so awesome stuff:

. About Bleach 353: ( Fuck an extremely large duck. )

The chances of my going to UChicago have now risen exponentially, because the financial aid is pretty good and that was not something I was sure I could count on and thankyouthankyouthankyou what I would have done otherwise I don't even know.
_

I have a laptop now. It's an HP dv3z Entertainment PC, and no, that doesn't really mean much to me either, but it's cutely small and sleek and shiny and really bright. Omg the screen is so bright I don't know how I'll ever get used to my old monitors now. (Mmmm LED-backlit displays. ♥ ♥ ♥) I really adore it, if only because it's my first laptop.

It looks like this:



(I can see myself getting so obsessive-compulsive about keeping it shiny. I bet I'm going to end up neurotically wiping away fingerprints every single time I touch it. >_____>)
_

I feel like my brain is stagnating because I haven't been reading much lately, and I have so little interest in so much. It's as though it takes too much effort to get into things. I'm hoping this ends soon.
_

That being said, WHY IS BLEACH STILL EATING AWAY AT MY BRAIN WTF IS THIS IT'S BEEN OVER TWO MONTHS AND STILL NOT GOING AWAY AND I NEED BLEACH FRIENDS. (Also, see above: LOLOLOLOL I BELIEVE I SEE A CORRELATION HERE AEIFJA;ESJA; JESIAJFE;SSEA EIS.)

I changed my layout: ipsius ipsius ipsius

:D

I really love this layout. It's by minty_peach. I narrowed the entries, changed the background color from orange to light gray, and made the header. But the best thing about this has to be the floral accents on the entries. ♥♥♥♥♥ Thin, delicate lines please me so greatly that I cannot even explain it.

30. I got into UChicago.

26. On the way home from school, I must have seen at least 15 monarch butterflies flutter past our car. My mom thought that it might be their mating season. They flew so low I could feel their shadows gliding over me as I walked to the front door.

27.

"Many Moons" by Janelle Monae. The song's very fresh and original, but the video is even more interesting. From what I understand, the story is based off Fritz Lang's Metropolis. Janelle Monae acts as her alter-ego/android-counterpart Cindy Mayweather, who's performing for an android auction. For the most part, it's about slavery.

28. Dostoevsky never fails to amaze me with how well he captures all the layers of thought.

29. Godfuckingdamnit.

21. I really dislike unrequited love in stories. It's a failure of understanding on my part, but tangled relationships and intense feelings that make people miserable tire me to death. But then, my feelings have always been nonexistent enough that I could make myself feel what was most convenient for the situation. But then, no person is worth longing after for so long that you can't try to start something new with someone who might actually make you happy so you can get on with your life.

22. (Hello. I am 12 and love is mushy and ew.)

23. WHY DO THESE EMPTY JOURNALS RANDOMLY FRIEND ME? IF I ACTUALLY HAD IMPORTANT/SENSITIVE THINGS TO SAY, THIS WOULD BE CREEPY, BUT AS IT IS, IT'S JUST MILDLY PERPLEXING. FORTUNATELY.

24. It's like a weight that's always pressing down, because it's not something that will go away by itself and it is serious and it is not a thing over which I have any control. I didn't think much of it at first, but the nervousness increases with the time that passes, and o, my mother is not a good person to go to under such circumstances. The times indeed suck, and waiting is distilled agony. But then I think of my aunt and all the empty tables last Saturday when we went. My dad said you reap what you sow but it's awful no matter how you look at it, for everyone.

25.

And all the lives we ever lived
And all the lives to be,
Are full of trees and changing leaves

15. There's always something to do, no matter now slow everything gets. Which isn't a bad thing because no one wants to be bored.
16. For a 10-year-old, my sister writes pretty damn well.
17. Goddamnit, where did all this disgusting apathy come from?
18. Two strong anti-internet messages within a week of each other. Hmm, I wonder what the universe could possibly be trying to tell me.
19. If you suspect that I might be going crazier, you would be correct.
20. I'm going to China this summer. (IJSAFSAKFJIEJF;KD; AIDJFAKEFJ AHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHASFESAFE SAFESA;ASF *SHRIEKS*)

10. At this point in my education, circuits are actually sort of fun.
11. I have so many principles I make myself adhere to for even the smallest things.
12. When I was in seventh grade, the high school astronomy club came to the junior high to give a PowerPoint presentation about lunar eclipses. I still remember how intimidated I felt after it, not because it was a particularly interesting or well-done presentation, but because I had never used PowerPoint before and didn't have the slightest idea how it worked and I knew that I would have to make one in eighth grade. I was so technologically-deprived then that anything more complicated than Word probably awed me. This is most likely not explained very well, but the bottom line is that a heck of a lot of things can change in five years.
13. I don't believe in many things.
14. It didn't make much of an impression on me when I first read it, but the words kept on repeating in my head afterwards, and now I have it memorized.

"The Uses of Sorrow"
Mary Oliver

(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)

Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.

The conciseness of it is very lovely. And how she plays on how we expect her to say "a box full of chocolate."

01. My upper lip bled for an hour yesterday. Wonder if there's something about my clotting factors (or lack thereof).
02. The afternoons these days are starting to feel like summer, and summer feels like endings, and this will be a more final ending than the ones that've come before.
03. I am extremely sentimental in short, intense bursts.
04. I don't actually know what these units stand for.
05. This is rather discouraging, really. I was sort of looking forward to feeling a sense of accomplishment.
06. There are few things more attractive than strength of will.
07. The days are speeding past so monotonously. I wake up. I go to school. I do my homework half-heartedly and wait for the periods to end. I go home. I nap for hours. I dream strange dreams. I sleep late. And yes, there is work and there are days that are different but I'm waiting right now, and that is the majority of it.
08. I adore my school. Albert and Manning are juniors in my statistics class. Albert had a laptop one day. He chose to use it to read Hana Yori Dango. Apparently he is now trying to learn the names of the characters in the Korean version of the drama, but it is very difficult for him. Manning's the vice-president of the anime club. He had a laptop today too, so about eight of us spent the period watching two episodes of anime and giggling in the back. ♥
09. I haven't been reading at all lately. It makes me sad.